Now that Thanksgiving is over, many are preparing for the rest of the holiday season. YouGov reports that 48 percent of women do “all” or “most” of the cooking on Thanksgiving. Compared to 31 percent of men, this is a huge stressor. For some, the shock of Turkey Day still lingers.
A Redditor posted with the username “jhonwickgal” on the “Am I the A** hole (AITA)” forum about an incident with her husband and family.
“I have been married (33 year job) to my husband (37 million, I’m in the military) for a year. We had a long distance relationship and met his family a few times,” she wrote in the viral post. .
She said she wasn’t “allowed” to help out at Thanksgiving until they were officially married so her husband’s family planned to join them this year.
“I was happy to cook the turkey that expresses thanks to the family, but it’s just that every time we have guests I’m cooking,” she said. “My husband” comes into the kitchen every few minutes literally yelling things like “So how are we? And the chicken isn’t ready yet?! Let’s go let’s go, the guests are starving!!” “You’re too slow moving faster!” and “Come let’s go let’s go!” As I was in the army or one of its recruits (he has a frog sound of constant screaming).”
The woman said that this behavior causes her a lot of stress, and she gets injured from the pressure. This Thanksgiving Day, do all of the above, and then some of it.
She wrote: “He kept coming into the kitchen saying, ‘People are getting hungry! What is taking you so long? “His mother offered to help but I thanked him and warned him to stop or I would stop cooking and doubled it up expecting ‘4 more minutes let’s go let’s go!’”
She continued, “I stop and turn off the oven and tell him I’m done cooking. He starts arguing with me saying I can’t stop mid-task but I apologize to the family and tell his mom she’s welcome to finish the turkey but he won’t let her and tell them he’s going to take them out to beat me up after what I did. I was shocked because I didn’t expect it.They got in their cars and left.
By the time her husband returned home, things were tense as he described her choices as “tasteless” and “irresponsible”. The woman asked Reddit if she was a **hole in this scenario and they chimed in.
“NTA. Get out. This guy is abusive. He orders you around and punishes you when you don’t comply. Then he uses the fact that he’s in the military to justify his actions and blame you alone. His family is back. It’s going to get worse. Get out early before that happens. That’s it. He’s an aggressor who thinks that he has the right to control you, and punish you as he sees fit,” Lnwint wrote.
Compensation 1995 said, “NTA, he constantly degrades you in order to impress his surroundings. You don’t have to put up with that. You deserve respect just like everyone else. You’ve been the target of ridicule for so long and you should stop. You don’t have to be sure of his stinging, denial behavior.” You should have defended yourself a while ago, but being late is better than never.”
“Both of my grandparents fought in World War II and knew very well that they would enlist in World War III if they talked to their wives that way. The army is no excuse, your husband is a grouchy, ungrateful f**hole,” added Krokowpot.
“So…that,” SweatyFig3000 said.
The post has garnered over 11,400 upvotes and over 2,000 comments at the time of writing this article.